From Dick, Jane and Sally to Uncle Bill
by
Dorothy Denne
Are you old enough to remember when an Uncle was either a blood relative or your Aunt’s husband? How old does that have to be? When did the change begin? When was it that Uncle Somebody was more likely to be Mom’s boyfriend than a member of the family?
I’ve never been good at remembering dates. I remember people and incidents. The first time I was aware that a guy wasn’t a real Uncle was when I was teaching in Michigan. That was near the end of the ’50s.
I lived and taught in middle-class suburbia. Dads wore white shirts and ties to work, the kids were watching Howdy Doody and Buffalo Bob and Moms’ big social event was the neighborhood Tupperware party. My students learned to read with Dick, Jane and Sally. Family life was thought to be perfect.
One day one of my brightest, cheeriest little girls showed up red-eyed and swollen-faced. She finally whispered in my ear that Daddy and Mommy were getting a divorce. She was not only broken-hearted, she was totally ashamed and disgraced. None of the kids in our school had parents who were divorced.
My cheery litle girl had developed bitter early maturity by the time she told me a few months later that Uncle Bill had moved in. She said, “He’s not my real uncle. He’s just the guy Mom sleeps with.”
In the early ’60s I moved to California. The geography was different and, by now, so was middle class suburbia. Uncles were becoming much more common. I thought the ultimate had come the day one of my students asked for 28 tickets for his family to attend our Spring performance. I was teaching fourth and fifth grade gifted and talented students. The performing arts were part of our curriculum so each spring we put on a two-evening special program to display our talents. I distributed tickets to keep attendance balanced.
When Johnny asked for 28 tickets I said, “Wow, that’s great. You must be bringing the whole neighborhood. He said, “No, just my Moms and Dads, my Grandpas and Grandmas and my brothers and sisters. Oh yeah. There’s one Uncle coming too.”