Dorothy’s Place: Make Us Laugh

By Dorothy Denne

Our economy is a mess, our health system is major sick, gasoline prices are outrageous, mass unemployment is on the horizon, our personal space is being overrun, identity theft is rampant, the water supply is diminishing, and global warming is changing our world.
I am told, “make us laugh, Dorothy.” Well yeah. Would you also like me to kiss a few frogs so you can watch them turn into handsome princes?
I tried that once when I was a kid because my rotten cousin told me it would work. All I got was frog slime on my hands and lips. He got clobbered with my shoe. Actually, that was kind of funny. My cousin was a tall, skinny drink of water who could run really fast. I was short and round, and could probably roll faster than I could run, but I had frog slime on me. I was motivated.
He had to explain the bruises to his mom, who then promptly used a cream paddle to put some more on a part of his anatomy usually used for seating. I got a good laugh out of that. He was the same one who told me the carpenter ants would carry me away. Yeah, a good laugh.
Now I am faced with another non-laugh situation. My computer is arguing with me. But, on the bright side, I have a young neighbor who is a computer whiz. So, let us see what we can do. Let us have some senior talk:
– Three old guys out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No it’s Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
– A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state-of-the-art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbor, “what kind is it?”
“Twelve thirty.”
– Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his next appointment, the doctor greeted Morris with, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said doctor, ‘get a hot mama and be cheerful.’”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful.”
– An elderly gent was invited to his old friend’s home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms – honey, my love, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that after all these years you still call your wife those loving pet names.”
The old man hung his head, “I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”
Did you laugh?

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