By Dorothy Denne
My friend put a lottery ticket in my birthday card. I didn’t win anything but it reminded me of a joke:
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said, “Just get out.”
Another friend gave me a bottle of good wine. Reminded me of another joke: Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun in the back, “I’m so tired of Chardonnay.”
That joke reminds me of how shocked I was when my new husband’s cousin, who was a nun, asked my father-in-law if he had any good cold beer. He did. I watched in complete shock as she drank it.
I couldn’t wait to tell my friend, who was a staunch Catholic, about it. I told her how shocked I was because I didn’t think nuns did anything like that. I felt kind of silly to be so naive.
My friend told me not to feel silly over that. She said when she was in third grade, attending a Catholic school, she too was put into a state of shock. She accidentally walked into a restroom and saw a nun sitting on the john. She said, “I couldn’t believe nuns went to the bathroom.”