Dorothy’s Place: Fun With Words

By Dorothy Denne

My Uncle Paul was my mother’s youngest brother. When I was a youngster, he was an English professor at Indiana State University in Terre Haute, Indiana. I remember one time we were visiting them when I was in around 5th grade.

Uncle Paul said to me, “Dorothy Lou, do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?” I smiled. Mom frowned. I said, “No.” He continued, “Well, a pun is a shift of wit. A fart is a whiff of …” He paused. I giggled. Fortunately for Mom’s heart, he did not have to finish the sentence.

I was reminded of that incident when I received the following in a forwarded e-mail. Enjoy.

Puns for Educated Minds:

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I saw a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, you know urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro – what a rip off!

And finally — All the toilets in Arcadia’s police station have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.

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