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Conflict: Friend and Foe
Arcadia Weekly May 15, 2014
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Conflict is natural. It happens every day between people and in groups. It’s something that managers routinely face. How you handle it determines if it works to your team’s advantage or not.
Leaders take different approaches to conflict. There are those who ignore it and hope it goes away, but inevitably it festers growing in potency. Others complain about how their team doesn’t work well together and they just need to get along. Some leaders deal with conflict with more conflict by placing blame and taking sides. Then there is the courageous leader who uses conflict constructively through communicating, collaborating, negotiating and integrating competing interests.
Conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing that leaves a wake of destruction. Rather it can be constructive and beneficial. Handled openly, respectfully and with an aim to improve the group it can spur healthier work relationships, inspire innovation, generate better problem solving and spark creative decision making.
Here are a few simple and effective approaches to conflict management.
Acknowledge the Conflict: First, recognize that it exists rather than trying to keep it below the surface where it can fester and grow. Acknowledging conflict allows you to talk to your team about what’s going on and get their input on solutions. This also shows that you’re willing to work through difficult situations for the betterment of the group.
Encourage Communication: If the conflict exists between two people encourage them to talk. People involved in conflict generally need to talk about the issue, their opinion and their feelings in order to resolve the matter. First though, it’s critical that you help prepare them for the conversation otherwise fireworks could go off creating even more damage. Coach them to first understand the situation from the other person’s point of view by asking their perspective on the matter. Then listen openly and deeply. Resolution cannot be truly achieved if both parties don’t genuinely feel heard and understood.
Move from Conflict to Cooperation: Once the issue it out in the open look for solutions to strengthen relationships, build respect and bolster team effectiveness. If the conflict resides within the whole team then once the group is ready for resolution bring them together to brainstorm solutions. One technique is to have them anonymously write down ideas on pieces of paper that are placed in a container which are then drawn and read aloud randomly. That way team members feel safe expressing their ideas.
Agreement for Moving Forward: Now that a solution has been agreed to, it’s important that people focus on the future rather than the past. That means encouraging your team to let go of the past problem and focus on the resolution. Remind them that their commitment to the solution is what makes conflict healthy for a team rather than dysfunctional.
So the next time conflict arises on your team approach it as a friend rather than a foe. A friend that through communication, collaboration, negotiation and integration can create a stronger and more cohesive team.
Heather Backstrom is an executive coach, leadership development consultant and speaker. She has a doctorate in organizational leadership from Pepperdine University. She can be reached at www.heatherbackstrom.com
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